I sit there, thinking

I sit there THINKING 

of you, and them

of what could be 

and what has passed

I sit there WONDERING 

of who I was

who I am 

and who I like to become.

I sit there LONGING 

for your touch, for their touch

and what it felt like to be held, to hold 

to give and receive.

I sit there HOPING 

for this, that, and everything in between.

I sit there WISHING 

for joy, comfort, and great moments of wonder.

I sit there CURIOUS 

of you, others 

to know more, to seek more, and 

wonder if others are doing the same.

I sit there MANIFESTING, CREATING, and CULTIVATING 

all that I desire and dream.

I sit there FEELING blessed that I am still HERE,

 and the ones I love are still THERE.

I sit there WITNESSING the play of light and shadows 

on my window curtains and marvel at the beauty of the simple things.

I sit there AWARE of the silence in being alone 

but remember when it was the opposite.

Content that I have lived and felt both experiences 

and still, feel the difference between those two things. 

I sit there THINKING, 

about those at war, 

That are 

In terror, in sadness, and in grief

and pause for a moment

to send out a message of 

LOVE and  

WORLD PEACE

I sit there BELIEVING in you, 

Them and better days to COME.

I SIT THERE,  thinking. 

As I tried to find the words and images to express myself these days within these tense current worldly affairs, I found this poem which I wrote last year while I couldn’t sleep, during a lockdown in Montreal. Words, that seemed to resonate with the moment NOW. I revised it slightly to reflect the times, my present mood, and the message I wanted to convey. Enjoy this through both the written word and audio narration of it by me.

Photos- Mustafa Hacalaki

Video by Jennifer Cloutier